My apologies for the absence of last week’s blog entry. Between finals at seminary, Easter preparations, and sickness on the home front my schedule got away from me. However, we are back just in time for the final entry of this study on Prayer. (Just as a side note, we will be starting a new study called Use The Tools: How to Read the Bible for All it’s Worth beginning April 6th)
If you have noticed, all of the entries to date have been focused on our personal prayer life. Whether it is meditation, intercession, praying the prayers others…………..whatever…….everything has been developing a personal life of prayer. In this last entry I want to share with you an approach to prayer that is not personal in nature, rather, it requires others to be effective. ….it’s called Spiritual Friendship.
Many times we have the mistaken idea that we can manage our faith by ourselves, that the Christian life is some type of do-it-yourself project. Where the more we work, the more we try, the more we pray, the more we study we can grow in our relationship with Christ. “Just me and Jesus, that’s all I need.” When it succeeds that’s awesome, we have made it to a new high point in our walk. However, many times when it does not succeed we feel stranded and alone. Sometimes we will seek out the advice of another in the matter. Sometimes we will simply ask someone to “Pray for me”. Sometimes we will continue on in our personal effort to overcome, never sharing our struggles or our joys with another. All of these are necessary at times….. All of these are needed at times…..but have you ever considered a Spiritual Friend?
In the March-April Issue of “The Upper Room” Devotional there is a story that reads:
“In my search for spiritual encouragement, I suggested to a friend and colleague that we meet regularly to offer mutual support and prayer. For the next five years, “Steve and I took a lunch hour once a week to share our stresses, anxieties, joys, even doubts…..We gave encouragement, prodded the other to new ways of thinking, and always prayed aloud for each other. Mostly we helped each other listen to what God was saying through the raw material of our lives’ routines and milestones.”
What these individuals embarked upon is Spiritual Friendship. A friendship that develops through a mutual desire and hunger to know God more in each of their lives and to share than with one another. While they each maintain a personal life of prayer, study, worship, and devotion ….. they also share that with one another to help uncover other areas in which God may be working in their lives.
This is very different than sharing one or two things in a bible study or Sunday School class. This is very different than asking someone to pray for you during this specific event or period in your life. This is an ongoing friendship with another individual where you are continually seeking and desiring to grow personally and help the other individual grow as well. Someone you meet with on a regular basis. Someone you can call upon in an emergency. Someone who is watching out for your spiritual life as you watch out for theirs.
We find examples of this throughout the Bible. The best example if this being Jonathan and David (1 Samuel 18). Personally….I have had spiritual friends who have held me accountable, who have looked upon specific situations in a different light, etc……But the most important aspect of it was prayer. Not “I’ll pray for you…………(sometime…..maybe……possibly…if I remember)” Not prayer that is taken home and done in private……but prayer that happened right then and right there……aloud……..spiritually joining our lives together before God. Helping one another look after and pursue their respective relationship with Christ. It helped me tremendously. I was able to see things that I had not considered before. I was able to share and get personal feedback on things that I was dealing with (not just once or twice but over the long haul). ……. And, most importantly, this is where I learned to pray in public. Prior to this I was petrified to pray in front of other people. I could not pray at the dinner table in front of family, let alone in front of friends or strangers (never in front of a congregation). But it was here, in a safe environment, that I became comfortable to pray aloud with others present. Being assured and nurtured by those present, my desire and hunger for fervent prayer grew.
Maybe this is something you desire in life. The question then becomes, who could this spiritual friend be? First and foremost it is someone that you trust. Unless the bond of trust exists, you will never reach the depths of your walk with this friend. This trust can be built with someone you do not know or it can already exist in someone you do, however, it must be present. Secondly, the two of you must share an equal concern for one another. Many times we seek the guidance of others to help us through a situation or we guide someone in a particular season of their life. Yet once that season is over, the spiritual guidance typically falls away. A Spiritual Friendship is a reciprocal friendship. Just as any other type of friend, this is ongoing for an extended period of time and continues over many seasons of life. Also, you may want to consider having someone of the same sex as your spiritual friend. While our spouses or significant others know everything about us, there are some things that only another guy or another woman would understand fully. Therefore, having a spiritual friend of the same sex gives you the opportunity to relate at those levels. Finally, remember, it’s all about God. That is our ultimate purpose in all that we do……..knowing, understanding, and glorifying Him.
I hope this series has been helpful in developing your life of prayer. If you desire to continue this development, there is a multitude of books on the subject. A few that I have read and found helpful are listed to the right.
“And this is my prayer: that your love may abound more and more in knowledge and depth of insight, so that you may be able to discern what is best and may be pure and blameless until the day of Christ, filled with the fruit of righteousness that comes through Jesus Christ--to the glory and praise of God.” Philippians 1:9-11
In His Grip
Kevin
1 comment:
One of my favorite books in the Bible is Ruth. The relationship between she and Naomi is a good example of this bond (Ruth 1:16-17) as well as the bond between Jesus and John, “the disciple whom Jesus loved”. So, based on these examples and the ones which you mentioned, I do think that “spiritual friendship” has its roots in scripture and could be very beneficial if grown and nurtured correctly.
I have many male friends but never really considered entering into a “spiritual friendship” with any one of them. The problem I would have, at least initially, would be the feeling that being open, honest and “spilling your guts” (let alone praying out loud!) with another individual seems a bit awkward…..especially between “real men”. I don’t believe I would have a problem doing those things with my pastor, but to just another guy friend of mine??...I don’t know! I agree that the friend would have to be someone whom you trust and with whom you shared similar concerns but still, we’re talking about 2 guys here!!
Seriously though, I can foresee that a true “spiritual friendship” would take quite a while to develop between individuals with the end result being a very humbling experience. But that would certainly not be a bad thing! (Matthew 18:1-4)
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