Spiritual Friendship

My apologies for the absence of last week’s blog entry. Between finals at seminary, Easter preparations, and sickness on the home front my schedule got away from me. However, we are back just in time for the final entry of this study on Prayer. (Just as a side note, we will be starting a new study called Use The Tools: How to Read the Bible for All it’s Worth beginning April 6^th)

If you have noticed, all of the entries to date have been focused on our personal prayer life. Whether it is meditation, intercession, praying the prayers others…………..whatever…….everything has been developing a personal life of prayer. In this last entry I want to share with you an approach to prayer that is not personal in nature, rather, it requires others to be effective. ….it’s called Spiritual Friendship.

Many times we have the mistaken idea that we can manage our faith by ourselves, that the Christian life is some type of do-it-yourself project. Where the more we work, the more we try, the more we pray, the more we study we can grow in our relationship with Christ. “Just me and Jesus, that’s all I need.” When it succeeds that’s awesome, we have made it to a new high point in our walk. However, many times when it does not succeed we feel stranded and alone. Sometimes we will seek out the advice of another in the matter. Sometimes we will simply ask someone to “Pray for me”. Sometimes we will continue on in our personal effort to overcome, never sharing our struggles or our joys with another. All of these are necessary at times….. All of these are needed at times…..but have you ever considered a Spiritual Friend?

In the March-April Issue of “The Upper Room” Devotional there is a story that reads:

“In my search for spiritual encouragement, I suggested to a friend and colleague that we meet regularly to offer mutual support and prayer. For the next five years, “Steve and I took a lunch hour once a week to share our stresses, anxieties, joys, even doubts…..We gave encouragement, prodded the other to new ways of thinking, and always prayed aloud for each other. Mostly we helped each other listen to what God was saying through the raw material of our lives’ routines and milestones.”

What these individuals embarked upon is Spiritual Friendship. A friendship that develops through a mutual desire and hunger to know God more in each of their lives and to share than with one another. While they each maintain a personal life of prayer, study, worship, and devotion ….. they also share that with one another to help uncover other areas in which God may be working in their lives.

This is very different than sharing one or two things in a bible study or Sunday School class. This is very different than asking someone to pray for you during this specific event or period in your life. This is an ongoing friendship with another individual where you are continually seeking and desiring to grow personally and help the other individual grow as well. Someone you meet with on a regular basis. Someone you can call upon in an emergency. Someone who is watching out for your spiritual life as you watch out for theirs.

We find examples of this throughout the Bible. The best example if this being Jonathan and David (1 Samuel 18). Personally….I have had spiritual friends who have held me accountable, who have looked upon specific situations in a different light, etc……But the most important aspect of it was prayer. Not “I’ll pray for you…………(sometime…..maybe……possibly…if I remember)” Not prayer that is taken home and done in private……but prayer that happened right then and right there……aloud……..spiritually joining our lives together before God. Helping one another look after and pursue their respective relationship with Christ. It helped me tremendously. I was able to see things that I had not considered before. I was able to share and get personal feedback on things that I was dealing with (not just once or twice but over the long haul). ……. And, most importantly, this is where I learned to pray in public. Prior to this I was petrified to pray in front of other people. I could not pray at the dinner table in front of family, let alone in front of friends or strangers (never in front of a congregation). But it was here, in a safe environment, that I became comfortable to pray aloud with others present. Being assured and nurtured by those present, my desire and hunger for fervent prayer grew.

Maybe this is something you desire in life. The question then becomes, who could this spiritual friend be? First and foremost it is someone that you trust. Unless the bond of trust exists, you will never reach the depths of your walk with this friend. This trust can be built with someone you do not know or it can already exist in someone you do, however, it must be present. Secondly, the two of you must share an equal concern for one another. Many times we seek the guidance of others to help us through a situation or we guide someone in a particular season of their life. Yet once that season is over, the spiritual guidance typically falls away. A Spiritual Friendship is a reciprocal friendship. Just as any other type of friend, this is ongoing for an extended period of time and continues over many seasons of life. Also, you may want to consider having someone of the same sex as your spiritual friend. While our spouses or significant others know everything about us, there are some things that only another guy or another woman would understand fully. Therefore, having a spiritual friend of the same sex gives you the opportunity to relate at those levels. Finally, remember, it’s all about God. That is our ultimate purpose in all that we do……..knowing, understanding, and glorifying Him.

I hope this series has been helpful in developing your life of prayer. If you desire to continue this development, there is a multitude of books on the subject. A few that I have read and found helpful are listed to the right.

“And this is my prayer: that your love may abound more and more in knowledge and depth of insight, so that you may be able to discern what is best and may be pure and blameless until the day of Christ, filled with the fruit of righteousness that comes through Jesus Christ--to the glory and praise of God.” Philippians 1:9-11

In His Grip

Kevin

Praying the Prayers of Others

Huh? Praying the Prayers of Others………..what does that mean?

Today, in most evangelical churches, the style of prayer that is employed the most is what is known as extemporaneous prayer. Extemporaneous prayer is prayer that is basically telling God what is on your heart. There is nothing pre-written, pre-chosen, or decided ahead of time. It is basically coming before the Lord and speaking as the Spirit moves……..kinda “off the cuff” if you will. Now, I imagine the vast majority of your prayer life would fall into this category (I know mine does), as does the vast majority of the prayers within the church. From the opening and closing prayers to the Pastoral Prayer ….basically everything (outside of the Lord’s Prayer) is extemporaneous.

But have you ever been in a time of Prayer with something on your heart and just not able to express it? It’s there, you know what it is but you just can’t get it out. You know that God knows your heart but you still want to express it to Him…..somehow. Maybe you are new to the faith and not quite sure what to pray. Maybe you have been walking with Christ for years yet realize there is so much more to prayer than what you are currently experiencing. If this is you…..have you considered praying the prayers of others……. or what is known as “Common Prayer”.

Common Prayer is simply utilizing prayers that have been written by others for common purposes. Traditionally, this has taken shape in churches such as the Catholic Church, Episcopal Church, Anglican Church and other “liturgical” based denominations who have written specific prayers for certain purposes within the church. However, there are opportunities for us to use this concept, prayers written by others, within our personal life of prayer.

Now I have to be honest, when I first heard of this I was a bit skeptical. How in the world could a prayer that someone else wrote be helpful to me? These are just “canned” prayers…..why would I want to do something like that? Is this really even prayer….just reading someone else’s stuff?

Then, during a time of spiritual dryness, I read this short prayer from St. John of the Cross, “My Spirit has become dry because it forgets to feed on you.”

Wow!! That’s Deep!! That’s it!! That’s exactly where I was and what I was feeling……and that nailed it!!

That’s when I quickly realized there is so much more to prayer than what I was experiencing in my time with the Lord. Here’s another one:

“God, of your goodness give me yourself for you are sufficient for me. I cannot properly ask anything less, to be worthy of you. If I were to ask less, I should always be in want. In you alone do I have all.” - Julian of Norwich

You may think that this type of prayer is too rigid or liturgical, let me suggest that incorporating it can add freedom to your time with God. Here’s how:

- They can “Prime the Pump” as we say. Just as meditating on scripture draws us into a deeper focus on God, incorporating these prayers can bring us to that same place.

- It may help us to articulate the yearnings of the heart that we could not express before

- It gives us insight to the prayers of others so that our life of prayer may be expanded

- It guards against the temptation to be spectacular and entertaining in prayer

- It helps us to avoid being content where we are at

If you are interested in trying this let me suggest a few resources. First, The Oxford Book of Prayer which contains the prayers listed above and many, many more. You can purchase this used for $5 (see link to the right) and is well worth the investment. Not into books? I found a website that leads you through a time of prayer using written prayers. It’s called Sacred Space and it gives you a daily devotional reading and then a series of prayers to begin to draw you into the presence of God. If you don’t mind sitting at the PC and praying……..it’s cool.

Extemporaneous prayer still remains … by far …. my #1 style of prayer. But the inclusion of other’s prayer…the giants of the faith, the saints of yesteryear, those who are on the same journey that I am on … has added a new dimension to my life. Remember, a full life of prayer contains infinite variety…. and one of those ways is through the prayers of others. I pray that this will help you to take the next step in your walk with Christ.

In His Grip

Kevin